Some tiresome stuff

Now i have got two jobs to handle. I go to college and teach spoken English to B.Ed. girls and in the evening i have my office to go to. Its very difficult and tiresome to manage both. I asked another friend to join me so that I could get some help and she could get the experience. I will be leaving both the jobs by 31 October hopefully.

By now i have met my fiance twice and that too in the space of a month or two. Now he will visit me in October. It will be two months since we last met. I feel sad that we dont meet that often as we are supposed to. People say that the time before marriage is a golden period. But due to some conservative thinking it is not a golden period for me. Its just a passing phase of love for a person you are bound to spend your life with and an exception of not going out with him that often. Just thinking that we wont be there on each others birthdays next month brings such an indefinable pain in the chest that its difficult to bear it. I have been contemplating it whole day. It will be difficult to travel in November and December due to fog. So October is the only month we will get to meet after which we'll get married in Jan straight away.

If this is how i am meant to enjoy and cherish the important moments of special days spent with my fiance then I am fine with it. But being separated for longer period of time with another person I love (first one is Aditi) is taking my all my wits to be reasonable. I am trying to keep heart and be a sport. But the pain would come just by thinking that we wont meet till Jan. I wont be there with him on his special day. Mine is already a tabooed day full of some or the other complication. I wish i could be there with him to spend some time with him on his special day. To make his day special, to give him an excuse of sticking that smile on his face for next 3 months till we meet again.

After Engagement

The life changes after engagement. Now you have someone to talk to late at night. Waiting for the call from someone special. Getting to know him better by staying in touch with him. One gets used to the fact that apart from family and friends there is someone special in life to look after you.

After the engagement I had to go to Kolkata with my best friend Aditi. It was fun to go with her and enjoy my time there and get to know the new city. I did so much shopping that by the end of my stay i started hating it. I fell in the bus and was saved from falling off as the bus drivers dont wait for the passengers to seat before driving their worn down 70 year old bus racing to 100 Km/h putting to shame the new imported fast cars. I liked the city and life. But if i was asked to stay there permanently then i would rather refuse.... I am a girl made for normal small town or city not for a metro. And besides i am engaged and i will be with my betrothed. Traveling in metro trains was a new experience in itself. It was fun and disconcerting too. Going to the temple Dakshineshwar was one exciting experience. I felt the change and liked it. i wanted to run away from my boring and busy life. This change was wholesome and worth it. I wish that i could go to some place every few months just to enjoy it. Back to my city i felt the life goes on.

29 April 2011

A day to be remembered when i took a special care of myself running around getting some make up on my face and putting a gorgeous dress just to look a special person with a special day getting ready for someone special. I have never felt so beautiful or good before in my 25 years of life. All physical factors come in way when it came to that. But this was my day. It was a special one for me. I should look the best.

Reaching the place of engagement before his family was a hurried thing. Then he and his family came. I waited in a room till i was called upon. I was nervous again meeting him after a week. I walked slowly with the entourage of women of my family following me. Can't believe i was bit scared but tried to act goofy in front of my cousin's camera just to annoy him a bit and i felt better. I reached him, sat next to him, tried to see him discreetly but it was not possible with the whole family watching us as if we were on stage which was not the case. Then came the most painful moment of our life. It was greeting every member of our families, receiving gifts and forced to eat laddoos just for the sake of ceremony. Eating all those laddoos made me hate them even more. i was on brink of vomiting it all but we had water and caught my breath for a while. same was the case for him. Finally all this business was done with when it was snack/dinner time which made our stomachs groan with pain of all those laddoos. We shared a plate (insisted by someone), fed each other and i felt closer to him.

Then we were left alone for time being and we exchanged our phone no.s and email. We got a bit personal that day and i accepted the fact that this guy is my future. I should do my best not to let that smile slip off his face. May be it was the penance for my past sins or his being gullible and sweet made me vow that. Finally it was time for them to leave. I felt different as if now i have someone in my life and i am not single any more. Some things were left unsaid and were waiting to be said at proper time. They were going. Everyone was teasing him and me. We took it all sportingly. They left and then i came back home alone in status but with someone in heart.