Life and red thread of fate

Its been quite a while since my last post. It seems whenever I am depressed i turn to blog writing that too when I am in my hometown. I don't have enough time normally to do the typing or reading stuff which invokes thought process for writing it. Anyways my excuses aside I read today about red thread of fate. Its a thread that binds two people for eternity and it cannot be broken even in death. I have been wondering since then that am I really bound by it? How can anyone be sure that it binds us to the right person? Is it fate? or is it the universe contemplating the actions of human kind? May be I can't answer it correctly as I am not a philosophical person. The answer lies somewhere out there and I don't have time and energy to search for it. Life is too short in some instances to answer certain in-depth questions relating to it.

I have been thinking along these lines for quite a while now. I feel so bound and caged like a bird who can't fly as per its choice. What I want with my life, I am not sure myself. Every step I take in my choices I have to take two steps back when they are not thought to be wise. Every happiness I want to share with my life-partner ends up in my spoiling it by going in depression. For once I wanted to have fun with him alone. But it was not possible. Instead wherever he took me with the other companions I felt sadness inside me. The sadness was prolonged more so by certain events which further brought in me negative thoughts of being cause of such events and leaving his life for good. His power of conviction was strong enough to leave the thoughts aside and start anew.

But I don't know for how long will he keep convincing and for how long will i keep starting afresh with my life. I wanted a new life between us and its not possible due to biological circumstances for a while. I thought that with a new being a new life will be waiting for us. But either I am being tested by my providence or I am being too naive to continue in every aspect of my life.

Now I think about it is the red thread of fate linking us together? or I am being a fool to believe in it. It may be both or may be none. I think of my life ahead and measure the what ifs. I come to a neutral answer which angers me and tests my patience. May be this was meant to be. Or may be we could have a love story to begin it so that such happy memories would have acted as catalyst in the darkest of hours in our lives. Or may be........................