Birthday 2013

Dear Blog,

It was 17th October 2013. The date has no significance in turning the history of the world but it does have significance for us. Its my Hubby's b'day!! But no b'day cake and no b'day outing... why?? Hubby is sick. So in the end no celebrations. Now awaiting 29th October as it is my Birthday!! And guess what, we are going to Bangkok for a week to enjoy our vacations. Not only that, since Bangkok is the one of the cheaper countries it will be easier for us to do shopping.

Now back from Bangkok on 29th in Delhi. Enjoyed the vacations. Had loads of fun. Coudn't buy beads as i wanted but still it was good vacation. No b'day celebrations again as we were totally spent with jet lag etc. Back home after that with the same old routine.

Down goes the b'day Celebration!

Happy Birthday!!

Princess

Something missing....

 I have been trying to figure out my life. Though it is filled with love but it is empty of a warm smile. It will be 2 years this January of our marriage and we have been unable to have that warmth we crave for. 

I blame myself mostly as I suggested we wait for a year. If only we could have thought of bringing warmth in our lives earlier then I would not have indulged myself in this guilt. 

Guilt is a big word in my dictionary. When I am kicking myself emotionally and mentally I tend to kick really hard. I conjure images that involve what ifs of my life. Such as what if I wasn't married I would have a different life, what if my husband and I separated, neither will be blamed; what if I am fully responsible and I don't deserve the pleasures of my life; what if I am bound by the chains of family and everything to hell with my craving let it be as it is, what if we don't have the warmth how will I be perceived by the judgmental eyes of people in this male-dominated society and what if I leave everything as it is and think of nothing. This guilt trip lasts till I get something new to focus on and my era of depression ends. 

Life has many happy and sad moments. Neither lasts for long but I guess sometimes the cloud of doom hangs on us for too long to make us comfortable.

Sometimes I wonder where did my old life go? I used to listen to English songs but not anymore. I used to venture out to buy the stuff on my own but not anymore. I used to read books a lot but not anymore. My life has changed, whether for better or worse I am not sure. But the only thing I am sure about is that something is missing in my life and its high time that I need someone from my womb cry for me, love me and call me "Maa". 

The more you talk, the more you grieve

Its not a proverb. I just made it up. It is common knowledge that people tend to say lots of things in the heat of moment and regret it later. What they tend to forget that they cant mend what has been broken due to their speech. Everyone in this world once or twice must have felt it that they have hurt the feelings of other by saying things that they shouldn't. The realization of their mistake dawns upon them quite later when a rift in the relationship has already been made. This rift can not be cured. Its like a disease which if given leverage by more speech can spread. It can further lead to breakage of lifetime bonds.

People feel sorry for themselves when they think of such occurrences in their lives. They think of what can be done or could have been done. Instead they should live in present rather than think of past and future. I know its difficult for a person to follow such thoughts but an effort needs to be made in such direction.

When a woman faces such problems she blames the person who perpetrated it. She will look to the future and past and keep on blaming people around her and still won't be satisfied till her feelings are remedied. The remedy can be to console her and take her into confidence and furthermore replace the happenings of the past with the help of man she loves. If her lover consents or is willing to help her.


When a man faces such problems he will blame first then feel guilty of what he has done and will not even think of how to remedy it. He will crave for his woman's love to make him forget it but any wrongs done against other can not be easily forgotten. His expectation of leading a normal life can not be fulfilled. He should choose a course which will help him gather his bearings and make certain changes which deflects the same things from happening again.

Instead, people will stay mum and won't talk. Believing to be happy in the moment but being sad inside and becoming unhappier still with advent of thoughts which swirl in the head which further come out from the mouth in the form of speech bringing a person to square one of his situation. 

Rain

I Hate Rains....Its a fact... It distresses me..It brings to mind depressing memories.. I wish I could be more like someone who laughs in adversity and bears it easily. I get the closed-in feeling during rains. I feel sadness  inside even though no event occurs to provoke it. But today i feel choked in sadness.. Something has happened. It may either change my life for worse or it may bring my life on track. The decision depends upon me. I wish I was a kid and the decision making was not in my hands. I wish to be in never-land where kids live free of decisions and living life to its fullest. I think wishing is not for me. As a rule I am not supposed to make wishes. For if you ask for something you have to give something too.

I hope I might start loving the rain sometime in future.

Life and red thread of fate

Its been quite a while since my last post. It seems whenever I am depressed i turn to blog writing that too when I am in my hometown. I don't have enough time normally to do the typing or reading stuff which invokes thought process for writing it. Anyways my excuses aside I read today about red thread of fate. Its a thread that binds two people for eternity and it cannot be broken even in death. I have been wondering since then that am I really bound by it? How can anyone be sure that it binds us to the right person? Is it fate? or is it the universe contemplating the actions of human kind? May be I can't answer it correctly as I am not a philosophical person. The answer lies somewhere out there and I don't have time and energy to search for it. Life is too short in some instances to answer certain in-depth questions relating to it.

I have been thinking along these lines for quite a while now. I feel so bound and caged like a bird who can't fly as per its choice. What I want with my life, I am not sure myself. Every step I take in my choices I have to take two steps back when they are not thought to be wise. Every happiness I want to share with my life-partner ends up in my spoiling it by going in depression. For once I wanted to have fun with him alone. But it was not possible. Instead wherever he took me with the other companions I felt sadness inside me. The sadness was prolonged more so by certain events which further brought in me negative thoughts of being cause of such events and leaving his life for good. His power of conviction was strong enough to leave the thoughts aside and start anew.

But I don't know for how long will he keep convincing and for how long will i keep starting afresh with my life. I wanted a new life between us and its not possible due to biological circumstances for a while. I thought that with a new being a new life will be waiting for us. But either I am being tested by my providence or I am being too naive to continue in every aspect of my life.

Now I think about it is the red thread of fate linking us together? or I am being a fool to believe in it. It may be both or may be none. I think of my life ahead and measure the what ifs. I come to a neutral answer which angers me and tests my patience. May be this was meant to be. Or may be we could have a love story to begin it so that such happy memories would have acted as catalyst in the darkest of hours in our lives. Or may be........................

First Anniversary

Its been ages since I have written something here.. My friends might be thinking that i am lost somewhere. Its not the case. I am just busy with my household chores and beading. I can't believe it that its been a year since i got married. The whole year seems to have flown away. But with the new year of my life there are various expectations to fulfil and finish my commitments wherever necessary. I am confused whether my work comes first or the expectations of the others.
Sometimes I think that I am not living upto the expectations of my in-laws. When I bring this topic up with my husband he assures me that its not the case but still the feeling lingers. New life brings lots of new changes. I have always known that a woman is a wife, daughter, sister, mother but now I have realized that a woman is also equivalent to a maid when the situation asks for it. Sometimes I curse my fate for landing with such a woman for a maid who is on holiday most of the time and we all end up with additional household work. I wonder how the American housewives fare since they don't have maids on daily basis.

Anyway I am a busy person with lots of stuff on my mind at the moment and too little time to work it all out. here are some pics of the work in the beading I have done uptil now.

will upload more pics when i get some stuff installed.. till next time. 

Tired

Its been a week....I am obsessed and tired with my sudden passion for beads. One reading this post won't believe that i have not been able to eat, sleep or think properly for a week now since i got obsessed with the making of beaded curtains. I have been thinking heavily of them. Its been ages since i have indulged in any jewellery related project. May be 2 years back i had a project. Now I have to do something about my obsession. I am frustrated. I am tired. I take 6 hours of sleep everyday and still can't figure out the pattern i should and could use for this small project. I have to finish it before Diwali. The reason for all this is below.

It was my idea to make curtains for my home mandir. But despite of looking for material in this city i can't find what i am looking for. I tried approaching the online stores to buy the supplies but unfortunately the websites work but their owners don't. Now i found this wonderful website beadingdaily.com where all the required patterns are available for free download. I found that there are various complex designs which I can easily use with provided instructions. But still I am stuck with the only cliché, beads. Where do I get them? What should I do? I closed my eyes 2 days back in the afternoon for a short nap and could only envision the design i formulated. But when I opened my eyes I had severe headache due to restless tossing and turning. Now I am frustrated due to lack of resources for us housewives when it comes to such stuff. I can't go alone since I am unfamiliar with the streets of the city. I always have to wait for a weekend for my husband or sister to be free of their office work to take me. Sometimes the week seems too long for me.

Now I am working on the designs for jewellery of idols. I hope it works for me from keeping me frustrated. Just one more day left to go the market. *sigh*

Almost there

I know this is bit late in coming but I didn't have time in last 8 months to write down my story so far. I have been busy. December 21, 2011 was the day I last posted. Now its August 28, 2012. Hmmm... Let me see what happened during the space of these 5 months. First of all I went through beauty treatments. It was hard for me in the cold month but manageable. Next thing was a boring New Year without any party to look forward to. I asked my best friend Anvita to come and stay with me till i got married which was a boon for me. After that came January 15, 2012; one of the most memorable days of my life. It was the day of my Ladie's Sangeet. A special occasion for an Indian Bride-to-be. The ladies sing various traditional songs and dance too. In my case since I was not getting married in my home-town, this event was supposed to be a gala one. Everyone I knew from my childhood to adult days turned up. People danced and sang. My sisters performed a medley and my aunts sang songs. It was heart touching. The Old and New generation danced which was new for the audience that day. I looked good for a change. My in-laws couldn't turn up as they had some technical problems to deal with. Finally my eldest cousin was celebrating his anniversary the same day. It was fun. The bad thing was that his leg was fractured and he couldn't move around much. All in all we enjoyed it.

Finally after going through painful parlour treatments I had my looks changed a bit. A few guests came to stay at my place and January 20, 2012 arrived with lots of tension and lack of sleep. Yes lack of sleep on my part....I was practically sleeping before we left for Lucknow. I get carsick easily so had to control the urge to throw up during the whole journey. Had to lean on Anvita's shoulder the whole time. As we were about to reach Lucknow I called up Varun to tell him we were about to reach. He seemed over the moon just to hear it. My heart fluttered but controlled my emotion so as to not to spoil the car. :D We reached the bungalows we hired. I was set to leave for the parlour immediately to get ready for Ring Ceremony. I felt nervous and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I was composed the whole time but outwardly I and Anvita joked the whole time. I know she might have been feeling the time passing by and my time to leave coming nearer. But she maintained her poise. Going to that god-damned parlour was the worst thing I had ever done. The beauticians wouldn't let my friend get ready. They had these printouts posted inside that women accompanying the bride are not allowed to get ready without paying a fee. As if my friend was asking to use their make-up and other stuff. Stupid People!! They allowed her to get ready since we insisted that we had just arrived from outside the city and she had no time to leave me and come back again. As if this was not enough those idiots wouldn't let me go without paying up. This was a bad situation. We were not informed beforehand when we booked the parlour of this obligation. Finally my aunt came and talked to them and we left. I was really very angry at the time. But all the anger vanished when I entered the place of ceremony. People were coming to gawk at me as if I was an alien or had two heads.

We had a small photo session and then I was led to the room where both the families were waiting for me. My fiancé Varun looked handsome and glad to see me. When I stood next to him I felt warmth from him and the cold I felt at the time seemed to go away. The rings were exchanged and I felt something new has happened in my life now. I had already accepted that I will be going with him, but accepting it and feeling it time and again were two different things. A sense of sadness mingled with love were present in me throughout the ceremony. When I was about to leave I felt I was about to step into something new which was too true to be denied. 

Birthday 2011

My fiance's birthday.. felt like having fun but how? no scene of his coming to my place until the day before. But i did not lose hope. He came and we spent so much time together that we felt awful at our parting. Though we were satisfied with what fun we had. It felt as if my love went deeper and deeper into my heart and i couldn't explain the feeling. But then by the end of the day within 2 hrs of parting i felt as if i haven't met him in ages. It was all so strange. Missing him so badly all of a sudden.. I guess i did make his birthday memorable. I hope he enjoyed it as much as i did.

Well it was my birthday.. again.. reminds me that i am getting older with more white hair to be worried about.. hehehehe.. cutting the jokes apart i had fun this birthday. Though i missed someone special sorely. But still I am happy that my birthday as a bachelor was fun. My best friend turned up with a cake unexpectedly and gave me all the books I wanted and asked of her. It was thrilling. Then we went out to have lunch and enjoyed Chinese chop soy for the first time. The waiter forgot to give us a fork and we asked for one. He gave us coke instead which was hilarious.
Then we parted after enjoying the day. I went in the evening to have fun at my aunt's function. And then came back home at the normal time.

Waiting

The worst part of life is waiting. I hate it more or less. I am impatient when it comes to tiresome waiting. But circumstances do not allow me to take any step to make changes with that regard. Still i have learnt wee bit of patience. Its seems like ages since I have done something exciting. Its almost two months since we enjoyed so much. It feels like I am bound at home with nothing much to do. I want to go out this Christmas and have some fun. Whether with my friend or alone. i don't care. Even if I get at least 2 hours worth of moving around I would do it. I want some time alone to be with myself or my Friend. I want to have that time of my life back when we used to enjoy a lot. Seems like I wont be getting that part of my life back any soon. As after this month is over preparations are to be looked forward to. My marriage will be the focus of everyone.

I miss my special someone. But he cant be here with me and i would really love to be with him. Its not possible and not as easy as it seems. i have to wait to be with him. I wished and thought that may be this Christmas will be special. I dont want party. I don't want treats, Santa or gifts. I just want either my friend or my special man to be with me this Christmas.

If this is not possible then all i have to do is keep waiting for it to happen next year.

Some tiresome stuff

Now i have got two jobs to handle. I go to college and teach spoken English to B.Ed. girls and in the evening i have my office to go to. Its very difficult and tiresome to manage both. I asked another friend to join me so that I could get some help and she could get the experience. I will be leaving both the jobs by 31 October hopefully.

By now i have met my fiance twice and that too in the space of a month or two. Now he will visit me in October. It will be two months since we last met. I feel sad that we dont meet that often as we are supposed to. People say that the time before marriage is a golden period. But due to some conservative thinking it is not a golden period for me. Its just a passing phase of love for a person you are bound to spend your life with and an exception of not going out with him that often. Just thinking that we wont be there on each others birthdays next month brings such an indefinable pain in the chest that its difficult to bear it. I have been contemplating it whole day. It will be difficult to travel in November and December due to fog. So October is the only month we will get to meet after which we'll get married in Jan straight away.

If this is how i am meant to enjoy and cherish the important moments of special days spent with my fiance then I am fine with it. But being separated for longer period of time with another person I love (first one is Aditi) is taking my all my wits to be reasonable. I am trying to keep heart and be a sport. But the pain would come just by thinking that we wont meet till Jan. I wont be there with him on his special day. Mine is already a tabooed day full of some or the other complication. I wish i could be there with him to spend some time with him on his special day. To make his day special, to give him an excuse of sticking that smile on his face for next 3 months till we meet again.

After Engagement

The life changes after engagement. Now you have someone to talk to late at night. Waiting for the call from someone special. Getting to know him better by staying in touch with him. One gets used to the fact that apart from family and friends there is someone special in life to look after you.

After the engagement I had to go to Kolkata with my best friend Aditi. It was fun to go with her and enjoy my time there and get to know the new city. I did so much shopping that by the end of my stay i started hating it. I fell in the bus and was saved from falling off as the bus drivers dont wait for the passengers to seat before driving their worn down 70 year old bus racing to 100 Km/h putting to shame the new imported fast cars. I liked the city and life. But if i was asked to stay there permanently then i would rather refuse.... I am a girl made for normal small town or city not for a metro. And besides i am engaged and i will be with my betrothed. Traveling in metro trains was a new experience in itself. It was fun and disconcerting too. Going to the temple Dakshineshwar was one exciting experience. I felt the change and liked it. i wanted to run away from my boring and busy life. This change was wholesome and worth it. I wish that i could go to some place every few months just to enjoy it. Back to my city i felt the life goes on.

29 April 2011

A day to be remembered when i took a special care of myself running around getting some make up on my face and putting a gorgeous dress just to look a special person with a special day getting ready for someone special. I have never felt so beautiful or good before in my 25 years of life. All physical factors come in way when it came to that. But this was my day. It was a special one for me. I should look the best.

Reaching the place of engagement before his family was a hurried thing. Then he and his family came. I waited in a room till i was called upon. I was nervous again meeting him after a week. I walked slowly with the entourage of women of my family following me. Can't believe i was bit scared but tried to act goofy in front of my cousin's camera just to annoy him a bit and i felt better. I reached him, sat next to him, tried to see him discreetly but it was not possible with the whole family watching us as if we were on stage which was not the case. Then came the most painful moment of our life. It was greeting every member of our families, receiving gifts and forced to eat laddoos just for the sake of ceremony. Eating all those laddoos made me hate them even more. i was on brink of vomiting it all but we had water and caught my breath for a while. same was the case for him. Finally all this business was done with when it was snack/dinner time which made our stomachs groan with pain of all those laddoos. We shared a plate (insisted by someone), fed each other and i felt closer to him.

Then we were left alone for time being and we exchanged our phone no.s and email. We got a bit personal that day and i accepted the fact that this guy is my future. I should do my best not to let that smile slip off his face. May be it was the penance for my past sins or his being gullible and sweet made me vow that. Finally it was time for them to leave. I felt different as if now i have someone in my life and i am not single any more. Some things were left unsaid and were waiting to be said at proper time. They were going. Everyone was teasing him and me. We took it all sportingly. They left and then i came back home alone in status but with someone in heart.

A turning point in life

A turning point in life

Life is a journey. Its a fact. Everyone knows it. But there is a turning point in everyone's life. Whether one slips on this turning point or deals with it as per the circumstances depends on the individual. I had a big turning point in my life in April 2011. I met the guy i was supposed to spend my life with for the first time of my life. Lemme explain from the beginning.

It was 12 April 2011. The whole family of the prospective groom was supposed to come at my place to officially meet me. It was a tiring day but an exciting evening. Seeing him first was like a kind of shock. He was sitting on a sofa opposite me. Instead of saying Hi which was expected of me i did namaste. How stupid and nervous i could be i cant imagine. I sat on the sofa opposite him and tried to observe his family members discreetly. His father, mother, sisters all looked at me. Then his mother and sisters started asking questions of me which were expected of them. My aunt offered us to go in my parent's room and spend some time together. Though the rest followed i was nervous. I kept thinking O God! help me how should i manage this. When we were alone for time being. We talked like mature adults do. All the time my heart beating furiously making me aware that i was being nervous. I liked the guy. But it was all serious talk we had and i felt as if i know him. He is like an open book for me. I felt i could see a part of myself in him. It was a strange feeling. I thought i couldn't get a better guy than him if i get to marry him. Time passed. They left and the whole family crowded on me that what we were talking about for 1/2 hr which was too much time according to them to be given. I answered them and then we got busy clearing the place off.

At night i was talking to some people online and was trying to bury the constant ravaging thoughts of whats next? what if i am rejected since we didn't get a clear answer immediately. All these thoughts were dispelled at 11 P.M. that night when they called up to inform me that they agree on this union. It was a big relief but now i faced another problem which was how to accept a new person in my life. A strange feeling but acceptable at once. Lets see what happens on our engagement on 29th April.

Curious Play (closing theme)

If I were to call out your name, I might wake up suddenly.
I should’ve known this was too good to be true.
There’s no way the same coincidence could happen twice.

Your eyes never leave a girl in the crowd with the same hairstyle as me.
You must be looking for someone.
Maybe you’re in love with her?

But when our eyes finally met, that girl turned out to be me.
No way, this can’t be, you’re walking towards me.

Flames of passion begin to run through my entire body.
I had better keep my wits about me, otherwise I might be consumed.
But I can’t exactly today. I feel like a little lost kitten.
If you show me the slightest compassion, I’ll just have to follow you home.

But now, what you’re telling me is just too much the same.
You’re saying the exact same thing you told me in the dream last night.

There’s a one in a million possibility that my dream could come true.
But you tell me, "That ‘one in a million’ is me."

Flames of passion burn intensely.
I must extinguish them right away before I get hurt.
But I can’t, exactly. I kind of want to get closer to you.
When you’re not even tangible, you can’t expect me to catch up to you.

But when our eyes finally met, that girl turned out to be me.
No way, this can’t be, you’re walking towards me.

Flames of passion begin to run through my entire body.
I had better keep my wits about me, otherwise I might be consumed.
But I can’t exactly today. I feel like a little lost kitten.
If you show me the slightest compassion, I’ll just have to follow you home.

A big trip to Punjab

When a person starts feeling his/her life dull and without adventures then one starts thinking whats the purpose of leading such a boring life? Well, same happened to yours truly a month ago when a telephone call for an invitation to attend a cousin's marriage came. I for one was against going but and yes there is a big BUT i was dragged along. My parents and i were the ones to make this trip in Jan. Try sleeping in the lower berth with 3 men snoring above you will win the awards for a sound sleeper. The trip was fine till in the morning a gentleman came down from his berth and started chatting with my parents and ultimately asked me which class do u study?? Seriously, as i grow older the questions such as these have become infuriating not to mention me and my bro are thought of as twins now (he being older in their opinion while its opposite). I am a girl with a job not a class 10 student!! well this thing was dealt with diplomatically and had a chatty trip to the place.

The day we reached there, we just met people had lunch twice, our stomach muscles were paining from all that food so we went shopping. Attended functions and held the same scenario all 3 days till i came back. Our journey back was tiring and painful with the train being late and us running hungry. Not to mention the tension of lugging the luggage since we brought back the double no. of bags than what we took with us. My parents are not allowed to carry heavy loads so i was a coolie for time being till we found some for such work.

Talking about making a journey is quite easy but actually making is difficult. I understand that but at least i liked the fun and happiness i got by making this trip after 4 years. No one reading this will believe that i haven't left the state in four years. How could I? My folks are conservative after all.

Narnia

A nice story of Dawn Treader read by me attracted me to watch the movie. I and my bro were ready to go and watch it in English but we faced a disappointment of the reel being defected and we had to watch the movie in English. Well we obliged since we had already bought the tickets. Finally we watched the show with only 9 people in the hall. It was fun to watch in hindi and i long to watch it again in English. Hopefully someday i might watch it on DVD. Had fun again for Narnia :D

Harry Potter watching Day!

Yayyyyyy.. finally the 1st part of Deathly Hallows was released in India and me and my bro couldn't wait to watch it in movie hall. So we bought our tickets a day before. But it was embarrassing enough when we were questioned as following:-

Man at ticket window:- How may i help u?
Bro:- We want a two tickets for Harry potter, tomorrow's show at 10P.M.
Man:- Ok tomorrow's show 10 P.M, Harry potter
Bro:- Yes
Man (while clicking mouse on computer):- Tomorrow 10 P.M. 2 tickets harry potter
Bro:- yes
Man(while looking at tickets):- Tomorrow 10P.M. 2 tickets harry potter
Bro:- yes (totally irritated)
and people behind us sniggered for God knows what reason. Well finally the day of the show comes but i was too worked up to even revel in the happiness as

1) it was raining heavily outside
2) it was raining heavily outside, and;
3) it was raining heavily outside

So i was waiting for the rain to stop so that i could go to office. Finally i reached office by 2 in the afternoon and had to go and buy some books from a bookstall and broke my shoe. Well yes broke my shoe. Now i had to say goodbye to my 5 year old buddy. In the office i worked myself to exhaustion, went to shopping with my PDP trainer who had to leave for a journey and i finally had to buy new bathroom slippers. Finally at home by 7 and relieved of the day's adventures felt the exhaustion in full flow but didn't want it to dampen my spirits. At 10 we were there and watching it. finally cam back at 12:30 and felt at top of the world. I named it Harry Potter watching Day coz for the first time i watched it with my bro only. Others wanted to tag along but we tackled them ;)

Finally a news for people who are reading this. I deleted my orkut account because i saw no point in having a account which was useless and not a source to b contacted anymore. Besides i wanted to bury some old happy memories forever and I meant it this time.

The Big Day

My Big day has come and gone. It was supposed to be a special day but i didn't get the feeling that it was a special day for me. Just a regular one. May be this year the mood was off a bit. Anyways, it started with annoyingly buzzing of my phone since 7 in the morning. A stupid friend of mine wishing me through messages when i have always told her to message me after 9 since i am a late sleeper and riser. Either her brains go down the drains while reading my complaint message or she refuses to understand what is it saying. Since my Friends and my brother's friends had already wished me at night after 12 i had no one else to look forward to except my family's wishes. Then started my normal but hectic day. Had to make the office boy run for some errands, made two calls to Singapore for the first time of my life and was surprised to hear people there speaking so softly which made me dig my phone in my ear to listen what they are actually saying. Then I distributed chocolates among kids, my boss and another coordinator. When the students left we had a chocolate pastry party and we left at 7.

When I reached home i saw my cousin there and then we had small bhelpuri party. It was not much fun but it was fine. Finally when everything was over i changed and relaxed. We didn't go out for the dinner since we all were full. Then talked on phone, receiving wishes and had a small funny incident with my cousin giving surprise to his mother by flying back from Canada and the family in Canada was mum all the time on phone with regard to his arrival or anything. We had coke at the neighbour's place: just me and bro. Around 11:45 we came back and i watched TV and then went off to sleep.

That was my simple and not so exciting 24th birthday. I wish that i had my close friends here with me to have a big party bash.

My Birthday

There are 3 days left for my Birthday also known as big day for me.. This day was always special for me because i used to get a nice family party to celebrate and get loads of presents. Later on when i grew up a little i had my little bro to celebrate this special day with because his birthday is on 21st of this month. After this i started inviting my friends from school to celebrate this day along with my family. Soon i stopped having family parties on my day and my bro got to celebrate it with his friends at home. Last year i came to know the value of my friends who gave me a surprise party in the college and we celebrated my birthday there in the free period. It was fun and worth being remembered.

This year, I have no one around me to celebrate my birthday with except my family. Every friend of mine has left this city . I am not keen on celebrating it this year and neither am i in a good mood to do so. I did get my birthday prezzies in advance for example a mobile but still i am not happy. In my past i have always been excited and happy to celebrate my birthday and when i grew up i realized why it was so. It was so because i think i am getting nearer to something or the other good thing in my life every year. This is the only day in my life when i think of ups and downs i have faced during the one year of my life. It rarely happens that i get depressed by remembering all the negative things that happened. I try to look the positive ones and learning to move ahead with them in my mind is my ultimate goal. i will reflect again this year on these facts but will miss my dear friends who are far away from me.

Happy Birthday in advance to all my friends because our relation as friends was born when i was born. :)